Ways for American TV to make a comeback
0 Comments Published by Icon on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 at 9:35 AM.
1. Hardcore Sex
Full gonzo porn live on the set of Good Morning America. Not with Diane Sawyer and company, though, of course, though they can narrate it if they want. In depth stories into the history of the DP and creampie genres. Big-budget gangbang/orgy events covered the way they cover awards shows and the Superbowl. All your favorite sitcoms with lots of full-frontal spreadeagled nudity. Have the Anchor read the news while sitting on a dildo. The strategy here is simply to out-porn the Internet.
2. Fuck Civility
Let's get into discussions of politics, religion, race, and class like skinheads and gangstas in a prison riot. If it comes to blows then it comes to blows, motherfucker. You get to tell Glenn Beck to suck your dick, then you get to (at least try) to make him do it, you get to reach across that table and slap the dentures out of Larry King's mouth. Make it all less like corporate America and more like the trailer-park.
3. Quality work
Good reporting whether or not it goes over the head of your average American, TV shows that assume that each audience-member has read at least one book in their lifetime, the willingness to fuck corporate America and Washington if they beg for it. The fervent, relentless clinging to idealism, like a naive, young reporter, but mingled with the vicious bitterness of an old, impotent alcoholic. This is pretty much the only job where idealism and bitterness are essential. There is no way you are going to get people to dig truth up without being harshly judgmental and also desperate to fuck over random strangers regardless of their social status.
4. The destruction of the Internet
Control access, control content, corral the populace, monitor everything. Make everybody into an audience, a paying audience. Freedom is the enemy, the people are the enemy if they aren't giving you money. Make it as rigidly controlled and stupid as network television then eventually there won't be enough difference for people to want one over the other.
Full gonzo porn live on the set of Good Morning America. Not with Diane Sawyer and company, though, of course, though they can narrate it if they want. In depth stories into the history of the DP and creampie genres. Big-budget gangbang/orgy events covered the way they cover awards shows and the Superbowl. All your favorite sitcoms with lots of full-frontal spreadeagled nudity. Have the Anchor read the news while sitting on a dildo. The strategy here is simply to out-porn the Internet.
2. Fuck Civility
Let's get into discussions of politics, religion, race, and class like skinheads and gangstas in a prison riot. If it comes to blows then it comes to blows, motherfucker. You get to tell Glenn Beck to suck your dick, then you get to (at least try) to make him do it, you get to reach across that table and slap the dentures out of Larry King's mouth. Make it all less like corporate America and more like the trailer-park.
3. Quality work
Good reporting whether or not it goes over the head of your average American, TV shows that assume that each audience-member has read at least one book in their lifetime, the willingness to fuck corporate America and Washington if they beg for it. The fervent, relentless clinging to idealism, like a naive, young reporter, but mingled with the vicious bitterness of an old, impotent alcoholic. This is pretty much the only job where idealism and bitterness are essential. There is no way you are going to get people to dig truth up without being harshly judgmental and also desperate to fuck over random strangers regardless of their social status.
4. The destruction of the Internet
Control access, control content, corral the populace, monitor everything. Make everybody into an audience, a paying audience. Freedom is the enemy, the people are the enemy if they aren't giving you money. Make it as rigidly controlled and stupid as network television then eventually there won't be enough difference for people to want one over the other.
Labels: Effectiveness, People, Social Issues, Television
0 Responses to “Ways for American TV to make a comeback”
Post a Comment