9 Differences between a vagina and your palm
0 Comments Published by Icon on Friday, August 8, 2008 at 12:41 PM.
1. It can read your mind
Of course it can, it belongs you, it knows how to grip it just right. It knows when to squeeze really hard and when gentleness is called for.
2. No multitasking skills necessary
You don't have to worry about being knocked backwards off the bed or hunting down the KY which is in the very back of the nightstand drawer. You don't have to be ready for her to cum so you can stick your forefinger in her anus like she asked, you just have to relax and enjoy the thought of you and Peter North double-teaming your neighbor's cleaning lady.
3. You aren't smelling anything
Not bad breath or farts or smelly feet anyway. People have body odor no matter how thoroughly they shower, or how much perfume they use it's always there. Without it there you lose the chore and having to think past it, pretend that everything smells just great.
4. Your back/knees never get tired
Your wrist might, but then you can rest it a little bit then get back to business, no pressure, no embarrassment. Enough pain and it distracts from the good friction and you start to go limp.
5. If you can't get it up, no biggie
It's only one of you to disappoint, in any case it's doable even then. It's just you and your dick going about life as best you know how, nobody needs to know a thing. The minute it happens in front of her then it's more pressure for the next time, and the time after that, like a snowball of inadequacy.
Good Things About Vaginas That you Don't Get from your Palm
1. Attached to a woman
And tits, you can't forget about the tits. Women tend to be soft and warm, too and make sexy noises.
2. Cleanup
Somebody else is responsible for it. No more overshooting the Kleenex.
3. Conquest
There has to be something good about you to get a woman interested, even if all it is the fact that you can find $20. There are lots of people in this world who can't find $20.
4. They look nice
Nicer than your palm, anyway. Nobody spends hours on the internet looking at pictures of other guy's palms.
Masturbation as a Means of Achieving Sexual Health
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Of course it can, it belongs you, it knows how to grip it just right. It knows when to squeeze really hard and when gentleness is called for.
2. No multitasking skills necessary
You don't have to worry about being knocked backwards off the bed or hunting down the KY which is in the very back of the nightstand drawer. You don't have to be ready for her to cum so you can stick your forefinger in her anus like she asked, you just have to relax and enjoy the thought of you and Peter North double-teaming your neighbor's cleaning lady.
3. You aren't smelling anything
Not bad breath or farts or smelly feet anyway. People have body odor no matter how thoroughly they shower, or how much perfume they use it's always there. Without it there you lose the chore and having to think past it, pretend that everything smells just great.
4. Your back/knees never get tired
Your wrist might, but then you can rest it a little bit then get back to business, no pressure, no embarrassment. Enough pain and it distracts from the good friction and you start to go limp.
5. If you can't get it up, no biggie
It's only one of you to disappoint, in any case it's doable even then. It's just you and your dick going about life as best you know how, nobody needs to know a thing. The minute it happens in front of her then it's more pressure for the next time, and the time after that, like a snowball of inadequacy.
Good Things About Vaginas That you Don't Get from your Palm
1. Attached to a woman
And tits, you can't forget about the tits. Women tend to be soft and warm, too and make sexy noises.
2. Cleanup
Somebody else is responsible for it. No more overshooting the Kleenex.
3. Conquest
There has to be something good about you to get a woman interested, even if all it is the fact that you can find $20. There are lots of people in this world who can't find $20.
4. They look nice
Nicer than your palm, anyway. Nobody spends hours on the internet looking at pictures of other guy's palms.
Masturbation as a Means of Achieving Sexual Health
Masturbation: the History of a Great Terror
Labels: Sex
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