5 Things you can learn from being a pervert
0 Comments Published by Icon on Thursday, August 7, 2008 at 3:12 PM.
1. How to be sneaky
You figure out ways to keep things hidden. You learn to look without openly staring. If you want to stare up her dress you learn how to fake the dropped cellphone, you want to watch two dogs mating in your neighbor's front yard you find the perfect excuse to be right there at the fence without arousing suspicion. In short you learn to be sneaky, but good sneaky since your reputation depends on it.
2. You figure out how to search the internet
Basically, finding anything good via google is largely about knowing the lingo associated with your fetish, also knowing how to use the boolean terms, etc.. It's not complicated, but it means that you have to be educated about your particular school of lust. Remember, as a pervert, the Internet is your friend. It's how you find your masturbation material and make friends who can advise you.
3. You learn how to hide things
The last thing you want anybody to see is the thousand or so pieces of soiled underwear you stole from women's dirty clothes at the laundromat. You learn how to pull up floorboards and hide the ziplock bags, you learn to cut and seal your mattress so that nobody would ever see the slit. It's kind of like being a reverse spy.
4. You learn how to live a double life
Nobody you know is going to be sympathetic to your desire to jack off to pictures of Asian women vomiting, so you keep that shit to yourself. You learn to pretend to be grossed out at the very idea should the subject for some reason come up in conversation, and you learn to plan your vacation to the Philippines quietly and without your coworkers knowing.
5. Self-control
So, no, your current girlfriend won't let you go down on her while she is on her period, but there will be others, what you don't want is for her to be so unhappy with you that she will call up your mother and your friends and tell them what you wanted. You learn to bottle up your desires fro the next one, until you find the right one.
You figure out ways to keep things hidden. You learn to look without openly staring. If you want to stare up her dress you learn how to fake the dropped cellphone, you want to watch two dogs mating in your neighbor's front yard you find the perfect excuse to be right there at the fence without arousing suspicion. In short you learn to be sneaky, but good sneaky since your reputation depends on it.
2. You figure out how to search the internet
Basically, finding anything good via google is largely about knowing the lingo associated with your fetish, also knowing how to use the boolean terms, etc.. It's not complicated, but it means that you have to be educated about your particular school of lust. Remember, as a pervert, the Internet is your friend. It's how you find your masturbation material and make friends who can advise you.
3. You learn how to hide things
The last thing you want anybody to see is the thousand or so pieces of soiled underwear you stole from women's dirty clothes at the laundromat. You learn how to pull up floorboards and hide the ziplock bags, you learn to cut and seal your mattress so that nobody would ever see the slit. It's kind of like being a reverse spy.
4. You learn how to live a double life
Nobody you know is going to be sympathetic to your desire to jack off to pictures of Asian women vomiting, so you keep that shit to yourself. You learn to pretend to be grossed out at the very idea should the subject for some reason come up in conversation, and you learn to plan your vacation to the Philippines quietly and without your coworkers knowing.
5. Self-control
So, no, your current girlfriend won't let you go down on her while she is on her period, but there will be others, what you don't want is for her to be so unhappy with you that she will call up your mother and your friends and tell them what you wanted. You learn to bottle up your desires fro the next one, until you find the right one.
Labels: How to rationalize all kinds of stuff, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality
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